"My bedroom is down here," I said as I walked down the hall and into my room."Um, I've never done anything before. Like sex, you know." That's okay, Jason. The truth is, neither have I. You'll be my first. And I'll be your first." Oh, that sounds nice," and I took him in my arms and we kissed, our hands roaming around each other's mostly-bare skin. Then, after a minute, I turned and asked him, "Would you like to take my top off?"His eyes got bigger and he soon had me out of my bikini top and was feeling my boobs."Oh, wow, this is so great. I've never had a girlfriend before, not a real girlfriend. You know, one that I could kiss and, um, touch, like this." Well, Jason, I've never had a boyfriend feel my breasts like this either. I really like it." Oh, I do too, you feel so soft and nice. They are really pretty." You can kiss them, Jason, I'd like that. And suck my nipples, too," I said as I sat him down on my bed and stood in front of him.He placed kisses on each nipple, then opened. But is that what I really want? How long will the other Veda live a secret life inside me? It didn’t last long. The pandemic has pushed the other side of me out. I speak to myself and argue with my body. But I started losing my morality. It all started with a phone notification.See, I have a past, a past relationship experience that I cannot forget. Every time I get a notification from him, my heart beats faster. When I am with Shankar, and my WhatsApp shows his name, I take a deep breath and swallow my desire.John takes what he wants. He controls what he desires. And one of the things that John desired was me. A few years ago, Shankar was my friend and was in love with me. I didn’t reciprocate it at that time. During a house party, he introduced me to this man.John was dark, tall, and so strong that his mere hands made me wet and craving. Shankar introduced me to John, who came with someone else at that party. He knew John through a mutual friend. When John first looked at me, I.
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